Uncovering the conversations that drive real influence
As executive sponsor of a major ICT system rollout, I faced a project board full of senior stakeholders—each with competing priorities, and hundreds of deliverables buried in the procurement documents.
Formal board meetings only surfaced the politics. What we needed was insight.
So I asked the project manager to start having coffees. One by one. Listening. Mapping the hidden networks. Who influenced whom. Where the resistance sat. What people quietly needed.
From that behind-the-scenes work, the noise cleared. We cut through hundreds of requirements and landed on seven non-negotiables. One slide everyone could align around.
Here’s the point: influence doesn’t happen in the boardroom. It happens in the spaces in-between.
Research by Rob Cross and Andrew Parker (The Hidden Power of Social Networks) shows that performance and change depend less on the org chart, and more on the informal webs of advice, trust, and collaboration. Miss those, and you miss the levers that actually move people.
As sociologist Ronald Burt put it:
“People who stand near the holes in a network are at higher risk of having good ideas.”
— Ronald Burt
Bridging the gaps is where leaders create real momentum
In other words, leaders who bridge the gaps—between teams, functions, or priorities—don’t just reduce friction. They unlock ideas and momentum no single group could see alone.
Think of a spider’s web. Its strength doesn’t come from any single thread, but from how the threads connect. It’s the same in organisations—the resilience and force come from the connections between people.
- Step back:
Sketch the informal network around your current priority. Who actually shapes opinion? - Spot the gaps:
Where are groups disconnected, working at cross-purposes, or framing the challenge differently? That’s where energy leaks out. - Engage smartly:
Influence across those gaps—not always directly, but through trusted connectors or shared forums. Sometimes the best move is indirect. - Focus impact:
Ask, what problem are we really solving, and what result will matter six months from now?
Because in the end, leadership influence isn’t about louder voices in the boardroom. It’s about learning to read the web you’re part of—and working with it to move things forward.
